TROLL 2 - REVIEW

There are no bad films, only bad entertainment. Whenever you're watching a film and you just can't stand it anymore you have to make it stop: that means it's not bad enough that it's fun and not good enough that it's actually watchable. Troll 2 is not a bad film...I wouldn't say it's particularly well crafted but it really does work. Like Tommy Wiseau's The Room, this is one of those films which may not have achieved its original goal but which has managed to become something altogether better entirely: a cult classic masterpiece of fail.

Pointing out the film's shortcomings could take several days but needless to say it gets everything beautifully wrong. The story is nonsensical and frankly dumb, the acting goes from perplexingly odd to the equivalent of ham eating ham-covered ham, the sets and costumes are hilarious and just about everything else is impressively clunky.

That Troll 2 has becomes such a cult phenomenon is no surprise, sooner or later genius has to be rewarded!

Although the film's newfound glory can be mostly awarded to Darren Ewing's Youtube hit "Oh my gaaaaaaaaahd!" the amount of equally quotable lines in Troll 2 is simply overwhelming. Pretty much anything George Hardy's stern, clueless dad says is a delight and Michael Stephenson's slow-burning realisations "Nilbog...it's Goblin spelled backwards!" are also a must-hear.

Describing the film's storyline doesn't really do it justice so here's a run-down of but a few things the film has to offer: a kid pissing on his parents, the most beautiful grandad smile ever, plastic goblins running around in the woods to the sound of kickass 80's syth electro beats, a flowerpot man, death by corn-on-the-cob, delicious green goo/food, the line: "We have no coffee here! It's the devil's drink!" and the most uniformly awesome cast you're likely to encounter.

If you can, check Troll 2 out on the big screen, it's a cinema-going experience you'll never forget. Besides, you can't piss on hospitality. 

CISSALC.