DARK SHADOWS - REVIEW
Tim Burton being the
movie wizard of my childhood, people who know me at all will know that I’m
somewhat biased when it comes to Burton’s films but that said, I will attempt
to objectively review this one fairly and without any emo fanboy nonsense.
Then again…
Dark Shadows was
wicked cool you guys!!!
I’m kidding, it was
fine.
As trendy as it is
these days to pan anything Mr Burton does, sadly this review won't. I mean, granted his movies post-Mars Attacks haven’t really reached
the heights of his earlier works but a so-so Tim Burton movie tends to still be
way more fun than most other films of that type and Dark Shadows is no
exception. Actually, there aren’t
many movies of that type making this the most original Burton film in years.
The mix of overdramatic soap opera and Hammer-style horror is rare but works
brilliantly here. Watch as vampires and witches worry about their seafood businesses in an unknown shitty little town.
Seafood lol
Actually, the film
falters when it strays too far from all that and tries to spice things up with
even more jokes about how Johnny Depp’s newly de-graved vampire Barnabas
Collins is out-of-touch with the new world he’s been reborn into. We get it:
1752 is different than 1972. Frankly the McDonald’s joke and the Alice Cooper
joke would have been more than enough. Also there was little need to pile on
the vampire lols as we are all very much aware that vampires and humans are not quite the
same. The humour, as you can see, is pretty hit-and-miss.
Barnabas’ origin story
feels familiar with flashes of Sweeney Todd and Sleepy Hollow but looks fab and
feels like pure OTT Hammer nonsense. The cast of supporting characters we get
is spot-on with Michelle Pfeiffer’s matriarch fitting in perfectly into
Burton’s world once again and looking decidedly awesome sporting a
double-barrelled shotgun. Eva Green is our dastardly witch with a gooey pink
heart and body made of eggshells (I’m not making that up, watch the movie),
Helena Bonham-Carter is the suspiciously dodgy Dr Julia Hoffman, Jackie Earle Haley is Barnabas' very own Igor Willie Loomis and Chloe Grace Moretz (Kick-Ass’ Hit
Girl) brings the 70’s teen attitude as Carolyn Stoddard.
It’s the weirdest
family since The Addams but by the end you’ll wish you were one of them. Either
that or you’ll just be happy your family isn’t THIS messed-up.
The plot involves
Barnabas trying to get the family back to their once respected status within
the Collinsport community, this means starting a cold war with the witch that
cursed him and cleaning up the garbage within the Collins family itself. Oh and some bloodsucking also. The
aforementioned fish-out-of-water jokey bits do overshadow the plot in the first
half of the film and the pace starts to drag a little bit but luckily, it all
leads to the goofy and completely, unashamedly fun second half in which the cold war becomes
a little bit more than... cold. One wishes that more would have been done with
some of those great, colourful characters but on the whole, everyone gets a
chance to be wacky and that's good enough for me.
Based on the far
gloomier and far cheaper TV series, Dark Shadows would have probably benefited
from a more serious (note: soap-opera serious) tone and a lower budget (note:
under $100M?) but as it stands it’s great fun and does have its share of
surprisingly dark moments. It also boasts Burton’s most satisfying third act
since Sweeney Todd. Actually, you
could say the film is on a par with the latter ranking it above Alice In
Wonderland but just below Sleepy Hollow. Definitely a step in the right
direction for the director but we’re not quite there yet.
Time to ditch the
adaptations I think…
Overall, I personally
had a ball and thoroughly enjoyed the Death Becomes Her-style cult wackiness.
Burtonites won’t complain, others should find it accessible and unique enough to enjoy it for what it is.
Not ground-shakingly
impressive but a very cool little blockbuster.
It has some real moments that made me laugh and had me enjoyed, but Burton starts to lose himself by the end, therefore, he lost me. Could have been so much better and the only reason it is as good as it is, is because of Depp’s insane performance. Good review.
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