TheRetroCritic

Review available on the new website .

Review now available on the new website .

Based on the popular anime series, Fullmetal Alchemist is a 2017 live-action adaptation from Japan following Alchemist brothers Elric and Alphonse as they encounter a range of powerful enemies and search for the Philosopher's Stone. The film was recently released on Netflix. We first meet the two brothers as children when an alchemy experiment aiming to bring their dead mother back to life goes wrong. Cut to years later and we learn that Alphonse's body somehow vanished after the botched experiment and he now inhabits a knight's empty armour indefinitely, hence the nickname "Fullmetal Alchemist". Unless Elric, who has himself lost limbs, can somehow recover the Philosopher's Stone, he might not be able to ever summon his brother's body back. A big action sequence early on depicts the brothers fighting against a man whom, they believe, is using the Stone nefariously and the scene boasts some big CGI effects, something the film fails to match before it

This year Netflix released Bright , a fantasy cop movie starring Will Smith and Joel Edgerton, the latter playing an Orc of all things. Directed by David Ayer, the film quickly became a popular target for everyone to trash and make fun of. Set in an alternate present where elves, fairies and other creatures live side-by-side, the film sees human cop Daryl Ward (Smith) reluctantly partner up with an Orc as they spend a whole night dealing with dirty cops, protecting a powerful magic wand and running away from the likes of evil elves, Mexican gangsters, Orcs and the Feds. It's been compared to Alien Nation and, indeed, there are obvious similarities but the film is so derivative that it somehow comes back around to feeling rather original and fresh. There's definitely a heavy-handed message about racism in there that, while relevant, is hard to take completely seriously when everyone's talking about magic wands the whole time. Bright wants to be a lot of things but it n

I talk about the "controversy" surrounding Star Wars: The Last Jedi .

Review available on the new website .

I talk a bit about Pixar's Coco .

Critically acclaimed and comfortably ruling the top of the box-office, it looks like nothing can stop Pixar's Coco from becoming another significant hit for Disney, not even sticking a vastly unpopular Frozen  20 minute short at the front of it. Coco is the story of 12 year-old Miguel who dreams of becoming a musician like his idol Ernesto De La Cruz except his family has firmly been anti-music for generations so when they destroy his home-made guitar and forbid him to follow that path, he runs away to prove himself by playing music during the Día De Muertos festival. As he attempts to steal the long-dead De La Cruz's guitar in a cemetery, he is somehow transported to the Land Of The Dead where he learns that he'll need to get his family's blessing in order to come back to the land of the living. Revealing any more than that would be cruel so let's leave it at that story-wise. There's something familiar about Coco from the musical skeletons ( Corpse Bride

Disney's Pocahontas was released back in 1995 and it was a relative box-office success despite critics not praising much more than the animation itself. To say that this is a loose adaptation of the Pocahontas real life story would be a gross understatement. Indeed, Disney's reluctance to approach Native American History in an honest way prompted quite a bit of criticism since the film's release, and rightly so. A lot of liberties are taken with what the film calls the "legend" of Pocahontas from the unlikely romance between Pocahontas (Irene Bedard) and British colonist Captain John Smith (Mel Gibson), the former being around 10 years-old in reality at that point, to the relationship between Native Americans and the English settlers. The film constantly romanticises otherwise not-so-pleasant events and replaces the more potentially uncomfortable conversations with cutesy cartoon animals and big Broadway-style musical numbers. A magical fantasy element is ad

Vlog recorded live where I talk at length about Thor: Ragnarok .

I finally talk about Season 2 of Stranger Things .

As the Justice League gets ready to finally unite in DC's latest crossover, Marvel delivers its third Thor movie: a neon-lit campy roller-coaster ride through the galaxy that sees the God of Thunder lose his beloved Mjolnir hammer and much more. The trailer for Thor: Ragnarok promised a colourful Flash Gordon -style fantasy epic with tons of over-the-top action, larger-than-life characters and a rocking soundtrack. Taking a page out of Guardians Of The Galaxy , this was set to be the inter-galactic adventure we wanted to see from Day 1. The good news is that Marvel wasn't lying and we got exactly what we expected: a ridiculously fun, action-packed comic-book sci-fi romp which should please the fans and effortlessly entertain everyone else. Chris Hemsworth has a lot of fun (perhaps too much fun?) as Thor and, even though he's much more bumbling than he probably should have been, he remains charming and likeable throughout. The plot sees Hela (Cate Blanchett), the Godde

Some thoughts on the upcoming sequel to Jumanji .

I talk a bit about new Stephen King movie adaptation The Dark Tower .

Two years after the failure of Howard The Duck , Executive Producer George Lucas redeemed himself with Willow , a fantasy film from 1988 directed by Ron Howard. It starred Warwick Davis in the title role with a young Val Kilmer supporting. After sorceress Queen Bavmorda (Jean Marsh) orders the death of children in the kingdom due to a prophecy stating that a female child will, one day, orchestrate her downfall, a chain of events is set into motion when a midwife decides to save one baby. The latter ends up in the hands of kindhearted Nelwyn farmer Willow but, when it becomes apparent that keeping the baby poses a threat to his village, he is sent to bring the child back to where she came from, but in safe hands. He first encounters disgraced warrior Madmartigan (Val Kilmer) and soon entrusts the child to him but that backfires almost instantly. What follows is an epic yet relatively intimate adventure involving fairies, "brownies" (tiny people), magic, trolls and monster

Based on Stephen King's series of novels, The Dark Tower is the first attempt at bringing the writer's inter-dimensional adventure to life after a long line of start-and-stop attempts. With the reviews so far being mediocre at best, it's not looking promising for this franchise starter. The fact that there are 8 books to work from should have guaranteed a packed first instalment setting up King's universe and its main players. The cool trailers promised lots of action, creative visuals, a massive scale and even a bit of humour so this really seemed like a safe bet despite fans of the novels already having their reservations. The reviews have been cruel and, although this movie isn't the complete train-wreck it's been painted as, it's hard to deny it deserves a bit of a spanking. Setting aside the fact that Stephen King fans have expressed how much it butchers the source novels, as a film it fails on several accounts. We're introduced to this big co

Because a franchise like Harry Potter is simply too popular to just stop, J.K. Rowling soon delivered Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them , a prequel of sorts following Newt Scamander, a wizard zoologist specialising in the strangest and rarest creatures. Eddie Redmayne is Scamander, the twitchy introvert with a briefcase packed full of "fantastic beasts" who gets stuck in New York after he accidentally switches bags with a wannabe baker. Scamander is then forced to not only recover every loose creature but deal with the stern Magical Congress plus a secret plot to take him down. There's something genuinely refreshing about a prequel that, not only doesn't just copy the original franchise, but expands its universe and introduces us to a new lead character who is very different. The biggest problem with the Harry Potter movies was always Harry himself: passive, bland and seemingly disinterested, he made Neo from the Matrix movies look like he was having the

Based on Dick King-Smith's novel "The Sheep-Pig", Babe was such a big hit back in 1995 that it even earned itself a Best Picture Oscar nomination and a Golden Globe. Not bad for a film about a talking pig becoming a sheepdog. On paper, Babe sounds like just another straight-to-video kids' movie but a unique storybook look, some nifty visual effects and tons of charm elevated it to well above average. Indeed, there's something irresistible about this tale of a pig who is bought by farmer Arthur Hoggett (James Cromwell) and finds a new, unlikely purpose. The film definitely has its silly kid-friendly moments but also a surprisingly serious tone at times, never sugar-coating farm life too much or devolving into farce. One second you're following duck-turned-rooster Ferdinand join Babe on a quest to destroy an alarm clock (don't ask), the next you're mourning the death of a sheep as Babe is almost executed for a crime he didn't commit. It's t

With cinematic superhero crossover universes currently competing, so too it looks like monster universes are about to fight it out with The Mummy possibly being the first of a modern Universal Monsters reboot franchise and Godzilla facing Kong in an upcoming sequel. Kong: Skull Island introduces us to the mighty King Kong in a prequel of sorts where a group approved by the US government travels to the evasive Skull Island with a military escort in the 1970's. Don't expect Kong to get chained up and brought back to New York City where he climbs up the Empire State Building etc. in this one. There are some clever nods to these familiar events throughout the film but it's mercifully not just a straight-up retread and, stylistically, it is very different than Peter Jackson's King Kong from 2005. Kong: Skull Island owes a lot more to the likes of Apocalypse Now , Predators and the more over-the-top classic Kong sequels than the 1933 original or any remake. The ea

Time to look back at some of my least favourite movies of 2016. Before you ask: NO, Ghostbusters  is not in the list.