TheRetroCritic

Talk about a good set-up! You've got a cool title, a kickass Duran Duran theme song, Christopher Walken, Grace Jones, all in a Bond film! How is this not widely known as THE best 007 flick out there? I'll tell ya: HORSES . Yeah, you know what's not cool to have in a Bond film? An extensive amount of time spent talking about or riding horses. I mean, I like the countryside and the pooey smell of stables as much as anyone but... Remember that scene in Goldfinger where Bond is playing golf with the titular villain? Now imagine if that scene was about an hour long. Ouch. Alright, I know it sounds like I'm panning A View To A Kill pretty harshly, but don't get me wrong: I like the movie! Christopher Walken's Max Zorin is a cool villain, Grace Jones is as striking as ever as henchwoman May Day, I like the opening ski scene, as silly as it is, and the third act is actually pretty darn decent. You've got a chase up and down the Eiffel Tower, Bond a

Originally titled “ The Bop Decameron” , To Rome With Love was this year’s Woody Allen and boasted yet another all-star cast in yet another European setting. But where Midnight In Paris really pushed the whole romantic, nostalgia vibe, this one takes a different route altogether. For one thing, this is closer to the likes of You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger or Everyone Says I Love You where you follow not one but several characters in their own little continuing vignettes. Woody Allen and the ever reliable Judy Davis play a married couple who go to Rome to meet their daughter’s boyfriend’s parents only to find that the father sings amazingly well in the shower, which Allen’s character promptly plots to exploit. A young architect, played by Jesse Eisenberg, is involved in a love triangle between his girlfriend Sally (Greta Gerwig) and one her best friends (played by Ellen Page) althewhile being mentored by one of his favorite architects (Alec Baldwin), or his gh

Licence To Kill is one of those Bond titles I remember watching several times over the years and enjoying ok. When I think about it, all I can ever picture is someone getting eaten by sharks and a freakishly young Benicio Del Toro falling to his death down some kind of conveyor belt. A re-watch later and that's still all I remember from that movie! Not that it's bad, it's actually pretty decent, but something about it just fails to make it stand out from the pack for me. The plot is actually really good with Bond's long-time American pal Felix Leiter getting chomped on by the villain's sharks on his wedding day and Bond defying M by officially resigning from MI6 and going on a rogue revenge mission. Helping him on his quest is Bond girl #1 Pam Bouvier, played by Carey Lowell, who gets a strange, if yummy, makeover about halfway through and, believe it or not, Q who proves himself to be one hell of a friend by showing up mid-mission and helping out with

Yes, Woody Allen's back already with To Rome With Love and this time he's got one crazy-ass cast: Roberto Benigni, Ellen Page, Jesse Eisenberg, Alec Baldwin, Penelope Cruz... Together... at last? Oh and Woody Allen himself also participates. Looks fun :) The Allen-starring ones are always worth checking out, lets hope this one is no exception.

Never quite my favourite Hitchcock film, To Catch A Thief has nevertheless grown on me these past few years. Similarly in tone to North By Northwest , it always felt like a slight, silly effort from The Master. And yet these days I find there's something irresistible about it. This is probably THE most chilled-out whodunit you'll ever see: there's little to no hurry. Characters have long chats while driving down the sunny French coast, stop by to have picnics, go for a swim... It's one big, long holiday with a freakishly tanned Cary Grant at the heart of it playing a cat burglar trying to find a copy-cat burglar in order to clear his name. But where the chillaxed nature of the film infuriated me as a kid, now I get the joke: take a typical Hitchock thriller and make it as lighthearted and tongue-in-cheek as possible, set the whole thing in the most inoffensive setting and get Cary Grant to wear horrible sweaters and scarves: voila! To Catch A Thief never pret

I bet you never thought you'd see Zach Galifiniakis, Ted Danson and Jason Schwartzman in a movie together let alone an entire TV series! Well, show creator Jonathan Ames clearly had a unique vision and his latest show Bored To Death makes it work seamlessly. The series follow Schwartzman's struggling writer as he goes through a painful break-up, puts an ad on Craigslist as an unlicenced private detective and becomes just that. Ted Danson is his charming, ever so slightly eccentric boss and Galifiniakis is his bearded, weary cartoonist friend. The first season focuses primarily on Ames (Schwartzman) leaving little room for George (Danson) and Ray (Galifiniakis) to develop their own storylines. They mostly pop up here and there to make themselves useful and add some quirkiness to the proceedings. That said, the last 3 episodes of the first season finally gives us what we want as our main cast finally unites and everyone is given a fair chance. From the terrific "Beautif

You never forget your first talking horse movie... Which is a shame because this really is one to forget. Although parts of it are actually so idiotically absurd they actually become almost funny. Just watching a dying talking horse voiced by Burgess Meredith pour his heart out to a talking horse voiced by John Candy while another talking horse watches The Three Stooges on TV with Bobcat Goldthwait...it's brain-damaging stuff but has some kind of entertainment value (the horse kind). Now I have nothing against Goldthwait, he was always a good side character to have around in films like Police Academy or Scrooged but an ENTIRE film of him talking like a stressed-out chihuahua...wow. That was something. I think about halfway through my ears actually defecated. Such a weird mix of people involved as well: you've got Virginia Madsen ( Sideways , Candyman , Highlander 2 ) as the obligatory love interest, Candy, Meredith, Gilbert Gottfried as a last-minute dentist and Danny

  Slightly disappointing, Hell Comes to Frogtown not only had THE best title (Hell is the main character's name) but also THE best premise. The result is definitely a fun ride but there's a lot of filler and the plot never becomes quite as glorious as the title suggested. This is one of those silly cult 80's movies which could actually benefit from a (CGI free, please) remake. Unfortunately Robert Rodriguez can't do everything. But as it stands, the froggy adventures of badass stud Sam Hell are only humorous, not quite genius. Shame. Roddy Piper, fresh from John Carpenter's excellent They Live , is a great sport here as he is sent to Frogtown to impregnate pretty much any human women he can find. The whole time he is forced to wear metal briefs with a small flap to allow...access. A lot of fun but the version in your head is probably way better.